Upward | The Speckled Goat: Upward



I'm coming to the conclusion that I think about myself too much.

I'm not saying that I'm selfish (which, okay, true, but not the point of this post)... I'm saying that I put too much emphasis on me.

Whether I'm considering what I think about some controversial topic, or about what I should be doing differently in this relationship, or about my feelings being hurt by that comment, or what I need to get done around the house, I look inward so much more than I look outward.

So much more than I look upward. 

After all, what is my life, anyway?

What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.- James 4:14

I want the all the answers to my questions about life. I want to know that my plans will come to fruition. I want to control the outcomes of my projects, of my efforts, of my dreams.

Even after years of walking in this Christian thing, I still feel like I'm basically a newborn. I cry and demand and generally make a mess, and expect God to take care of me and love me no matter what (and, like the good loving Father He is, He does.) I don't really care who God is, as long as I get what I want.

For all this thrashing around, fighting against my human limits and my sinful attitudes, I really don't get very far. I'm busy telling God what I think He should do, how I think He should act... without seeking to know Him at all. I want to know why, not Who.

Meanwhile, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out who I am. Where I fit, where I belong. What I should be doing.

Maybe all those questions can be answered, not by spending hours looking in, but by learning and seeking and looking up. 

Maybe who God is makes a life-changing difference in my identity.

Maybe the character of God points to who I'm supposed to be.


  1. Well said. We all need the reminder to look up.

  2. Learning and seeking and looking up <---- that is a beautiful way to live. Blessed to be your neighbor at #tellhisstory.