Sheep without a Shepherd: Scattered Flocks

"Okay, well... give me a call if you need me," he said, lifting his backpack by the strap to sling it over his shoulder.

"I will do that- and expect to put in some hours around Spring Break," I replied.

It was eerie. This was the third of these conversations I'd had in about ten minutes, and it was making me sad. Because while I was somewhat relieved that the insanely busy season had come to an end, it also meant saying goodbye.

I didn't have enough work anymore for ten young men (and one young woman)- didn't have hundreds of guests a day or dozens of tours to fill their time.

And that meant that these people I'd come to care about- these ones smelling of two stroke exhaust and gasoline and snow- were leaving to go back and find work somewhere else. Scattering.

The Little White Church

Gravel crunched under the tires as we pulled into the small parking lot. I don't even know that you could really even call it a parking lot-- it was more like a little dirt patch right by the road.

The church was adorable- like something off a Christmas card-- traditional white clapboard, the quaint steeple pointed to the sky. It looked like it had been transplanted, amidst all the close-together houses and long-neglected businesses. Everything around it needed paint, and the crisp whiteness of the church looked out of place.

I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect from this tiny little church in this tiny little town.

Don't get me wrong- it's not like rural Iowa is bustling- but what kind of congregation could come out of a one-horse, run down village like this?

Blessings this Week: 11.11.2016 and 11.18.2016

As I take the time to reflect over the past two weeks, only one word comes to mind. Overwhelming.

Just... overwhelming.

And it's not terribly surprising, given what's been going on these days- new jobs, new home, settling in, flying to Chicago, saying hello and hugging goodbye, building and changing and growing.

But even more than all that, amidst all this hard stuff, I'm overwhelmed by the blessings. God is so good.

Favorite Links This Summer

It's no secret that I like blogs.

I read 'em, I share 'em... and it was reading the blogs of other people that got me started writing my own. Because I like blogs.

Working in an office (in front of a computer) means that I have the unique opportunity to fill my coffee break and lunch break with reading blog posts, and this summer has been full of great ones.

And I wanna share them with you!

The Important Thing

I try not to pick favorites... but... I have a couple favorites. (Don't tell all the others.)

I stood at the check-in desk in the warm summer sunshine, and watched with a big smile as she got out of the vehicle.

She is one of my favorite campers.

Vibrant, kind, laid-back, and just a fun-to-be-around person. Her family's first summer at the Family Camp where I work was also my first summer, and somehow, that made us instant friends. The week when they come to the Bible Camp where I work is always my favorite week of the summer.

We greeted each other with a big hug, just like we've done for four summers, now.




And then she said it.

"We thought you might be pregnant..." 



I didn't expect it, honestly.


It's been years that we've been on this journey, and I'm coming to terms with our misfortune (slowly). It doesn't hurt as sharply as it used to, most of the time. But this one surprised me.

It wasn't really the infertility that hurt this time-- it was something else.

She was affirming a whisper, a voice in the vulnerable parts of my soul. A voice that I've been rejecting as strongly as I can.

See. hidden beneath her question, I heard the unspoken comment she was making.

Children are the important thing. 

It's a common narrative, especially in Christian circles. And I think we're mistaken. 

Read the Rest of the Post over at Amateur Nester-->

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Other Stuff You Should Be Reading, and Yes, I Started another New Project.

Maybe you've noticed (or, you know, maybe you haven't...) that there's a new tab in my menu bar.

If you noticed, gold star for you. 

If you didn't notice, the new tab is for a new project I started without thinking through completely. I do that.

But it was one of those things that has turned out so very well, and I'm glad I didn't over think it and talk myself out of starting it.

"Seamless": A Study Review

I am so blessed to be part of a church that puts an emphasis on small groups. Three years ago, brand new to the area and a newlywed, a lady I'd only just met came up to me after the service one Sunday and asked if I'd joined a group yet.

Being the socially awkward person I am, I picked at my thumbnail and tried to get out of committing to anything.

Luckily, the small group study they were working on was a couples study... so I could hide my odd extroversion-but-sort-of-shyness in Trevor's self-assured friendliness.

Three years later, here I am, just finishing up co-leading a group study myself! Yeah! I know! Crazy.

To be sure, it wasn't until we started getting involved with a small group that we finally started branching out a bit in our new town and making some non-co-worker friends. And we've been so, so blessed by the friendships and studies we've done.

Long story short, don't pick your fingers awkwardly. Just say yes and get involved in a church. You need it.

Blessings this Week: 07.17.2015

I count my blessings- to remind me to be grateful, to remind me of God's kindness and grace to me, and to help me get my attitude where it needs to be- in a state of awe and wonder at His goodness.

Sunsets over this beautiful lake of ours

...   ...   ...   ...   ...

Supper out with friends

...   ...   ...   ...   ...

Tipsy Houses and people-watching

Love, A Friend Still Waiting

Dear Friend,

Today, you posted a smiling picture of yourself- two actually, to compare your baby bump now with the way you looked twelve weeks ago.

I took a moment to look at that picture, to notice the sparkle in your eyes and hand on your growing belly, right over the little one being knit together inside of you. What a miracle.

And if I'm being completely honest, yes. I felt jealous. The kind of jealousy that makes me feel like I've been knocked in the stomach after playing Red Rover on the playground.

Ask a Catholic: Lent Style, or What's with the fish on Fridays, anyway?

It all started with a lunchtime conversation about fish.

At Camp, we’d served fish on Friday for one of our retreat groups- because there were a few Catholics in the group, and Lent.

Which led to the questions- why fish? Was that in the Bible? What about the “giving things up” and how come so many people who do give things up for Lent have ulterior motives that have little to do with spiritual growth (losing weight, for example)? And why is Lent such a big deal with Catholics, anyway?

As the closest thing to Catholic at the table- I was baptized both Catholic and Reformed (double-dipped!)- I ineffectually shrugged my shoulders right along with everyone else.

But it did get me thinking.

See, while I’m technically Protestant (we attend an Evangelical Free church), I’ve found lots of wonderful truth and tons of beautiful and meaningful tradition in the Catholic faith.

I don’t agree with everything the Catholic church believes, no. But I do think that as Christians, we can all learn from different Christian denominations- we’re all the body of Christ, and we’ll be hanging out together in Heaven.

Different perspectives are a good thing.

And also, I’m just plain curious. So instead of shrugging my shoulders and moving on, I thought … hey! Why don’t I ask a Catholic?

So I did.

We Need Community

We've had several friends get married in the past few months, and lots of well wishes have been given, lots of blessings said, and lots of prayers offered up.


I haven't given very much advice, though. I mean, we've only got two years of marriage under our belts (only two years? I can't imagine life without Trevor... it feels like we've been married much, much longer.)

But if I did have advice to give- I'd say this: You need community. 

Community is kind of built in to the majority of our youth. If you're a public school kid, you've got automatic friends in your grade or your classroom. Homeschooling kids have co-ops and groups. And of course, if you're fortunate (and I was), you have neighbors who are close to your own age and siblings running around everywhere. The same is true in higher education- I lived in a dorm during college- an insta-community!

Of course, all of that changed drastically when I graduated and got married. It's hard to make friendships as an adult.

In my case, I moved to a new town, my friends were scattered throughout the country (and the world!) and while I was pretty well wrapped up in my brand new (and very hunky) hubby, I became lonely. I wasn't expecting that.

We need community. We've been designed for interactions with other human beings- and human beings other than our spouses, too. We need friends! But when you're in a new place, a new situation, a new phase of life... well, that community is hard to come by.

Of course, if you're working outside the home, you will probably be able to make some friendships in your workplace, and that will certainly help. But really (and I don't know about you, but I feel this way), if you've spent all day with someone at work, you may not want to spend all of your evenings with them. We love our Camp family. Working and living at Camp makes for an incredible kind of community that I've never experienced anywhere else. But even that can be kind of limiting. It's nice to get away sometimes, see other smiling faces, get to know someone new, you know?

And if you're not working outside the home- all the more opportunity for you to feel isolated. So where are you to find community?

One of the very first things I would suggest a newly married couple to do is this- find a church.

Find a church where you feel welcome, a church where you can be yourselves. A church where you can find a group of friends.

And then, get involved. Volunteer to bring cookies, shake hands, introduce yourself, go to potlucks and picnics and fundraisers. Invite people to join you for lunch after the service. Go to adult Sunday school classes, join a small group.

Join a small group.

The biggest mistake of our first several months of marriage was thinking that we didn't need to find a church family. Going to services at our Camp on Sundays in the summer was convenient and inspiring, and who could really ask for more?

And we missed out, for months, on building new friendships. We knew our Camp family- but besides that... we were pretty isolated. We didn't get out much.

 It wasn't until Trevor and I found our church home that we finally began to build true friendships, to form a community outside of Camp and outside of our new little family. It really made such a difference.

So you- you newlywed or you who just moved into a new town- go find a great church. Trust me, you need it. You need that community.

Difficult

In honor of the Quilt Auction this past weekend, it's Quilt Week over here at Shalom! And by that, I mean I'm going to write one entire post about making a quilt. 

I've been working on a quilt for... well... for about a year and a half.

Well! I'm excited to say-  I finished it!

And, like typically happens when you try something still pretty new and kind of difficult, I learned some things about myself.

Well, and I learned some things about that minky fabric that feels so nice. Spoiler- minky fabric is so very horrible- it stretches and makes everything uneven. Ugh.

But! If you look at the quilt from far away while someone shakes it, you can't tell how uneven my rows really are... so we'll still call that a success.

I hadn't touched this project in months. The front was almost completely finished, but I still had to quilt and bind it. And so it sat in a little bag in the closet of the sewing room/office, all sad and lonely.

See, first, I was busy. For a couple of months, balancing home and work filled up the majority of my time, and quilting simply wasn't a priority. We've all been there, right?

But secondly, while I really enjoy quilting, it's hard. Well, at least, for me it is. As a novice with almost no experience, it's hard. So I avoided it and started other projects! Because I do that.

We had a group of quilters here at Camp one weekend, and I remembered the lonely quilt. I thought maybe I could ask for some help or pointers or something. Something to make it easier. So I quit avoiding and finished up the front (which isn't perfect, but is the part I struggle with the least), and brought the whole thing to the ladies to beg for suggestions.

Do you know what they told me? They said I did a great job, and that I was done! My little creation was ready to go off to be quilted by a professional.

I was pretty set on the quilt being a DIY project through and through, and I had planned on quilting and binding it myself. Besides, getting it professionally done would cost quite a bit of money... and I didn't want to do that, either.

I told one of the quilter ladies that I wanted to quilt and bind it myself, and she said, "Oh! That part is really hard." 

So I took the quilt home, watched a couple YouTube tutorials, and I finished the quilting and binding myself that afternoon. The project that was in limbo for a year and a half was all finished in three days. Why the sudden determination?

1. She said it was hard.

2. She told me I was doing a good job.

That made all the difference. See, just the fact that I was validated, that someone with experience and know-how told me that I was doing something hard... it made me feel like maybe I wasn't so incompetent. Like maybe I wasn't alone.

And to be complimented on something I wrestled with, on something that I wasn't very confident in... it made me feel proud, ready to take on anything.

What a wonderful gift of community- to feel like we're not alone, to be told that we're doing something that's difficult.

That can really make all the difference. Being acknowledged like that can give us strength to keep going.


So, if you know someone who is having a hard time, tell her so. A kid studying for an SAT? A newlywed figuring out the "marriage" thing? Someone trying to find a job/a house/a car? A work-outside-of-the-home mom? A stay-at-home-mom? A gal who wishes with everything that she could be a mom? Working through college? Starting a business?

That's hard!

Tell her that you notice, that she's making a difference, that she's doing a great job. And tell her that you've been there- and it's hard. It may help her keep going.