|Original Image used with Permission|
The first few steps on this painful path were so... unexpected.
I didn't deal with it well.
I was angry and confused, but most of all, I felt so isolated. Infertility, like many other hurts in life, can do that.
Everyone in my life has kids. Many of my friends are on kid number two or three. Some have even completed their families.
Add to it the fact that I work at a Bible Camp- kids everywhere all the time, even babies and toddlers during the family camp weeks, and I’m surrounded.
I’m surrounded by the stuff of family life. The playpens and high chairs and strollers. The school trips and loose teeth.
My home is different than the houses of our friends, different than the activity at work. It’s quiet without the shrieks, chatter, and laughter of children.
In those early days, I really felt like the one still frame in a scene of activity. All around me there’s this flurry, fast-paced and noisy, but I’m standing motionless.
Frozen. Conspicuous because of what’s missing.
I stick out in the middle of all the life.