Blessings this Week: 06.23.2017

First and foremost, this week I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and well wishes about our exciting news-- thank you all so much for your prayers and excitement!

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Distant rain brought us a double rainbow


For this Child...

"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him." - 1 Samuel 1:27

We are overwhelmed with God's love, and excited to announce that our little miracle will be arriving in November!

I know that there have been many of you who have prayed for us throughout our infertility journey. Thank you for your prayers, and we are so incredibly filled with joy as we now ask you to lift up prayers of thanksgiving for this amazing blessing!

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Blessings this Week: 06.16.2017

The past few busy months have been chock full of many things, but the one thing distinctly missing has been this practice of counting the blessings. There have been so many, but they flit in and out of my consciousness like the barn swallow that are swooping past my window as I write this. Barely recognized before my mind is on to something else... and I miss the opportunity to reach out and take hold of them, to claim the blessings as mind, to give thanks for them.

I have to be intentional about finding and naming the blessings, or I miss them.

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Lazy Sunday afternoons, and a silly dog who makes us laugh (especially when he walked right off the side of the dock and plunged into the water.... he was so surprised!) 


Shedding Season: A SleekEZ Dog Brush Review

The weather is warming up, the sun is shining, and this guy is shedding all over the place. 

(Good thing he's cute.)

I don't know if it's because Bear had his very first Colorado winter, or that he's getting a bit older, or maybe it's the altitude (I blame everything on the altitude), but it seems like this spring, our pooch is just exuding hair.

This is pretty inopportune, seeing as we'll be heading back to Iowa soon, and the idea of locking ourselves in a vehicle with Mr. Sheds-A-Lot for ten hours isn't really appealing. 


Come to the Table: Enough

It's noon on a typical Saturday... one of those Saturdays that make me wish this wasn't typical.

Saturdays are demanding. And this Saturday in particular is one in the same. The phone is ringing, the little sleigh bells I put on the doors are jingling merrily as guests arrive, and I still don't have a single guide in the outpost to help contain the crazy, to help direct the crowds.

I feel a bit like sitting on the floor behind my desk so no one can see me.

A customer comes upstairs to alert me to the fact that there's no toilet paper in the bathroom (again), just as the first guide rounds the corner, frustrated because he worked hard and didn't get the tip he thought he'd earned, and I've just about had it.

For someone who struggles with people-pleasing as much as I do, this job has been.... stretching. Between conflicts with customers and disappointed (sometimes whiny) staff members, I feel like I'm not making anyone happy. No one at all.

I just don't have enough. 

I know in my head that this feeling isn't unique to this job or to this season of life... we all feel like this from time to time. Whether you're a teacher, parent, computer engineer... I think we all say it on those hard days. 

I don't have enough. 

I yell in my mind at all these people.

What do you want from me? I can't do everything!

And those words, repeated like a mantra, become my war chant. No more mercy, no more grace- I've given all I have to give.


Come to the Table: Water for the Thirsty

lent devotion devotional reading short lenten ash wednesday water thirst bible christian devotion about being thirsty the woman at the well

I'm sitting at the bar that serves as my work desk, taking a moment to absent-mindedly trace the deep scars in the surface of the wood.

I'm replaying an imaginary conversation in which I respond to a customer's angry ranting online review. It's the same conversation I've been having in my mind and occasionally in my dreams for the past week.

My Trevor says I need to let it go.

I can't.

I just can't seem to release this feeling of indignation, of offense, that the best I could do was still not enough for this customer. Instead, the restless feeling of unresolved conflict winds its way around my thoughts and my heart and my stomach and makes it hard to find the waters of peace. It dries me out- I'm parched and rough, inflexible and brittle. Exposed.

It's a symptom. I know that this fire-in-my-veins restlessness comes from somewhere deeper, somewhere where my identity lies.

And I've spent long enough tracing the dry, old, worn out cattle paths in my mind to know where this trail comes from.

I have an unquenchable thirst for approval. 

Being liked, or needed, or valued by other people drives so many of my decisions, so many of my behaviors. I don't handle it well when they (whoever they are... it really doesn't matter) are unhappy with me.


Blessings this Week: 03.24.2016

Just in case there was any denying the changing of seasons, this week was full of signs of Spring.