Seven Delayed Quick Takes : IBW, voiceless parenting tips, and a big bruise

Well, it certainly has been a couple busy weeks.... although I could have done without some of it.

I got sick. I picked up Evert's cold. And the truly unfair thing is that he got over it quick, but I'm still (still!) coughing up a storm. And he's got all the energy again, but me? Not so much. And the most unfair thing of all?? I lost my voice. Completely gone for two full days. Evert has been making monster truck noises and asking "What's that?" nine million times a day, and his voice is totally fine. What.

So my first three "takes" this week? The three things I would bring with me on a desert island, if that desert island was actually two days with two children under two and no voice.

Their Eyes Were Watching Mama

It was nearly the end of the church service.

I spent most of it standing. Well, standing and bouncing and rocking. Because my little one is getting to that age where he really doesn't nap well in a wrap, anymore, and the more I can move, the more likely he is to fall asleep. So I stood by the stained glass window, the light carrying the colors and painting them across my back, and swayed and rocked and rocked and swayed.

And finally the baby did fall asleep, and I cautiously sat back down next to my husband while the pastor finished his message with the baby's soft breath on my collarbone.

Seven Quick Takes : Black Hills 2019

Well, our annual Black Hills trip has come and gone already. I'm not sure how August is almost over, already, but there it is. Here are seven quick takes from our trip!

..1..

This year was the first Black Hills trip for two newbies-- little Koben, and our new-to-us camper. We purchased this camper in late April. It's exactly what we've been looking for over the past few years -- it's a toy hauler (the bed raises up to the ceiling, the back wall doubles as a ramp, and it has tie downs for small vehicles or motorcycles), it has a large bathroom and lots of storage space, and it's only 17 feet long.

It was in rough shape on the inside, and needed lots of scrubbing and TLC (thanks, Mom!) before it was ready to go.

Overall, we really like it.

Sorta-Montessori : Toddler Water Play Skills Bin (a sensory bin alternative)

We have been (imperfectly, sort of) following a Montessori-style philosophy with our toddler for almost a year now.

While we don't follow all the "rules," (our toddler sleeps in a pak n play, not a floor bed; we have many plastic toys; he uses a high chair for meals...), some Montessori principles are practical, helpful for our family, and fit with our parenting style. So we use those, and toss the ideas that don't work for us.

One thing that is technically not a Montessori activity is sensory bins.

If you're not familiar, a sensory bin is a container with a base material like sand, corn, slime, water... and then some objects or manipulatives for a child to use to interact with the base material. They're super popular, often very engaging for kiddos, and can range from simple to very, very elaborate.

There are millions of ideas out there for really awesome sensory bins.

But generally, they're not really Montessori.

Sorta-Montessori : Baking with a Toddler

For the past year or so, I've been working to incorporate some Montessori principles into our home life. Sort of. In all honesty, we're pretty far from a full-out Montessori home. We don't follow all the "rules," but we fit the philosophy to our lifestyle and the needs of our own family. And so far, it's working for us.

One of the things we've been enjoying this spring and summer are our baking days! We usually try to do some baking every other week or so -- my goal was to bake every week, but our schedule this summer just hasn't allowed for that. (Most of the time, my hands are pretty full and I don't take any pictures, so most of these pictures are from when we made Daddy's birthday cake!)

We started working together in the kitchen when Evert was 18 months old, and I was a little hesitant to get started at first (the mess! the fingers in everything! the time it takes! the eating of raw batter!). And yes, all of those things happen. It takes three times as long to include Evert as it would if I just did it myself, and there's always lots of clean up - of the child and of the kitchen.

However, the simple activity of doing a little baking includes so many learning experiences that it totally makes it worth all the time and mess. Little Evert loves it, but even more than that, there are so, so many things he's learning on our baking days!

Here's a look at a couple of the "lessons" he's learning.

Brudders

To be honest, when I found out we were expecting our second baby, I was soooo excited, but also a little bit nervous.

Evert was a couple of days from his first birthday when we found out about little Koben's existence. Evert was still such a baby himself - and I really wondered how he'd do with a sibling, especially a sibling so close in age.

We read big brother books. We watched videos on Youtube of babies- laughing babies, crying babies, sneezing babies (Evert's favorite) - talking all the time about how we need to be so gentle with babies, how we can make a baby feel happy by singing a song, how Mama will hold the baby sometimes. I read articles about the best ways to help a toddler adjust. I tried to prep Evert as much as possible for the big changes about to take place, all the while cringing  in my heart about how he'd transition. I worried that he'd resent the new baby, that he'd resent the attention given to his new brother, that he'd lash out at us. Despite all the preparations, I worried.

Rocking Chair Revisited

It's almost seven thirty when I rush upstairs to the drawer full of pajamas. I'm behind. It's late. Bath time, then a story and a song, hugs and sloppy toddler kisses, and then I'll clean up the kitchen quick and hopefully the baby won't need to nurse just yet...

And in the middle of the routine checklist of my thoughts, I notice it.

It's covered, at the moment; several toddler sized button up shirts that I need to hang and put in the closet are draped over the back, and there's a toy tractor tossed on the seat. Wedged up against an armrest is a book - "Big Bulldozer!" embossed across the front. (I've got that bulldozer book memorized.)

It's the rocking chair.

The First Pictures

Dear Baby,

Going through the thousands of pictures of you is a momentous task. Thousands of pictures, each one with a tiny nuance or slightly different facial expression and how can I possibly choose which to keep and which to delete into digital nothingness?

I'm getting there, slowly, but there's a folder of pictures I just don't like to open. Not yet. It's the folder of the first photos of you.

I avoid looking at them, even now, because it's just too hard, yet.

September and October.

Small Wonder

In this moment...

I could worry about germs

I could be concerned about splinters

I could think about how I really should sand and refinish our front porch

How We Do It: Cloth Diapering

We started cloth diapering a little late in the game- we didn't get our first cloth until our little guy was three months old. With all the craziness of being in the NICU and then finally adjusting to being home, I didn't want to add anything else to our routine until we were all settled. But when I finally got started, I was hooked! And like anyone who is overly passionate about a small area of their life, I wanted to share it with you! So- cloth diapering... this is how we do it!

My Heavy Duty Diaper Bag

One of the biggest baby gear decisions I had to make was about the diaper bag.

<ominous music> DIAPER. BAG. It's kind of a big deal. I mean, you're going to be hauling this thing around with you daily for the next year or so. A diaper bag falls into the category of "everyday gear."

Baby Gear I Love (and one thing I don't): Three Months In

We're three months into this parenthood thing, already. I know! It feels like yesterday that we brought our little baby home.

It's been completely wonderful and pretty tiring and a bit... challenging. Being a mama is a lot of work! Of course, just look on any baby registry or mommy blog and you'll get nine hundred million suggestions of gear to help make things easier. I really try to keep the baby stuff minimal and only get the things that we'd really use. And while the list of things I use a lot is a little different than I expected, I think I've got it narrowed down to the top 6.

Here's what we love so far!

Beautiful, Unexpected Grace in the Gospel and Adoption {guest post}

November is Adoption Awareness Month, and how better to celebrate the good news of adoption and redemption than to invite a guest blogger to this corner of the internet! 

Naomi has some great words to share with us today about the beauty and grace we find- in adoption, and ultimately, in the Gospel itself. Thanks for joining us today, Naomi! 

Every adoption is born out of two things: trauma and loss. For an infant, who leaves the hospital in the arms of their loving parents- there is trauma and loss. For a toddler, who cannot verbalize their past and calls their new parents "Mommy" and "Daddy" right away- there is trauma and loss. For a school aged child who for the first time is living as a child instead of as a fill-in parent- there is trauma and loss. For a teen, who finally has someone to provide their needs- there is trauma and loss.

Often, adoption is either romaticized or criminalized. The truth this, it is both beautiful and hard. Adoption should be a story of trauma, loss, and grief that is met with love, compassion, and healing.

How can I state what every adoption story should be? Because that's the way our Father wrote our adoption story. And His Word is the standard by which we should be operating.

Great Stuff to Give Parents in the NICU

When we announced the birth of our little boy- who arrived eight weeks early- and the fact that we'd be in the NICU for at least several weeks, our people were incredibly supportive. Friends and family immediately asked what they could do, what we needed, what they could bring.

And honestly, we had no idea.

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I mean, my little guy is in a great hospital, and they really provide just about everything. I decided that I'd stay with our baby as much as possible, which was easy to do in our NICU. The rooms had couches that folded into a bed, there were showers and laundry facilities available for families, we got meal vouchers that allowed us to eat in the cafeteria... and of course, everything our baby could possibly need was provided as well.

But even though we had no idea what would be helpful, we did have several friends (and one very sweet former NICU mom who I actually didn't know at all) who gave us things that were amazing and made the journey so much easier.

Dear NICU Mom...

I'm walking down the hall toward the elevators and the cafeteria when I see you.

You're wearing cheery pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt that doesn't match, inching your way down the hall in your slippers, a shell-shocked expression on your face.

You see me coming and step to the side to let me by, and I see you glace at my name tag and notice the word "parent," -- that one word that identifies me as the mama of a precious tiny one here in the hospital-- and your expression changes a little- a mix of camaraderie, disbelief, sadness, and hope.

I know exactly how you're feeling.

Just weeks ago, I was you.

I Hate Periodic Breathing, and Other Confessions of a Preemie Mom

So many of our friends and family have told us that we seem to be doing remarkably well, given the circumstances. And yes, we have managed to stay generally upbeat, keep our sense of humor, and cling to faith during our NICU stay with our teeny tiny premature son (born at 32 weeks).

But honestly?

This hasn't been easy.

I've been really working to stay positive, clinging to the blessings, praising God for each and every step in the right direction... but it's hard. And I think that acknowledging the difficulty will help me work through it and recognize the blessings more readily. And if you're a preemie parent, too, hopefully reading this will give you a little reassurance that you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Little E's Birth Story

As the nurse and anesthesiologist lifted my now completely numb legs onto the operating table, it finally started to hit me...

This is happening.

After a very short 32 weeks, I was about to meet my baby.

Blessings this Week: 09.29.2017 Edition

I can hardly believe that this week is already over- after last week's craziness, I thought this week would seem much slower. But that hasn't been the case at all. In fact, this week almost seemed quicker somehow.

Our baby is changing every day, and it seems like I'm having trouble keeping up with all the changes- his expressions, adjustments to his care, challenges of being a parent, new things I'm learning daily.

But I'm trying to just stay present in the moment, to enjoy every minute of this new life we have. I still can't believe how blessed we are.

Motherhood: Wrecking and Recreating Me in the Best Ways {Guest Post}

I'm excited to welcome back Natalie Brenner as a guest poster again today. Natalie is a fellow sister in the infertility struggle, victorious through Jesus. Welcome back, Natalie, we're glad to have you!

When she placed him in my arms, my whole body released a tension I didn’t realize it carried and simultaneously grew a necessary wound in my heart.

The gravity of a tiny life—which wasn’t tiny at all—shifted my whole world, changing me.

I breathed in his sweetness, only to exhale a gripping understanding of the sacred moments I was living.

There in the hospital we existed in complete complexity: immense and unexplainable joy crashing right into immeasurable grief and tragedy.

I could have never prepared for the sacred weight those moments held: his first mama placing him into my arms to become his mama.

Those moments changed me. Those moments of her deeming me worthy to be mother to her son changed me in ways difficult to process.

As I transitioned from childless and waiting to full arms and full heart...so much of myself changed.

Or maybe I simply became more of who I was created to be.

Either way, He has been using motherhood to transform me by placing a magnifying glass over my greatest weaknesses and strengths.

As she handed her son to me, making me mama, I stepped further into who He created me to be.

A confidence I hadn’t yet experienced bubbled up inside of me as I grabbed ahold of the commitment to protect, serve, and raise my new son with everything I had.This confidence created in me a bold courage I didn’t otherwise have.

Simultaneously a humility laid into me, bringing to focus the reality that I had so much to learn and so far to grow. A humility reminding me continuously that he is hers in a way he’ll never be mine, and vice versa. A humility reminding me there are so many hurt humans walking around due to their parents lack of humility...and I was not about to step into parenthood thinking I knew it all.




Becoming a mom has made me both more fierce and more gentle.

Motherhood has been teaching me the importance of courage and bravery, even when unpopular and uncomfortable. Motherhood has been teaching me the importance of sitting on my hands and listening to other’s experiences without trying to teach in return. Motherhood has been teaching me both speaking up and quieting down, honesty and grace infused in every piece.

Becoming a mama has changed me by inching me further along in my process of becoming more like Him. It is sanctifying in all the hardest ways, demanding my self-control and patience, demanding I set aside idols and ideals and control.

I’ve only been at this mama-thing for just shy of 19 months. By the grace of Jesus, I have two one year olds. Mothering has stretched me thin and also built me up. It has taught me patience and endurance. It has cracked my heart wide open in the best ways possible and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.



Before I was made mama, I thought motherhood would be hard...but I also thought it would be a delight.

It is. It is such a delight and such a gift and something I do my best not to take for granted.

Becoming a mom has changed me and wrecked me and broken me and is recreating me...and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

NATALIE BRENNER is wife to Loren and mom to two under two. She authored This Undeserved Life: Uncovering the gifts of grief and fullness of life which will be released September 18. She likes her wine red, ice cream served by the pint, and conversations vulnerable.

Natalie believes in the impossible and hopes to create safe spaces for every fractured soul. You can love Jesus or not, go to church or not: she'd love to have coffee with you. Natalie is a bookworm, a speaker, and a wanna-be runner. Connect with her at NatalieBrennerWrites.com and join her popular email list.

Preorder her book, email her “I preordered,” and receive pretty prints: This Undeserved Life
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What Surprised Me Most about Motherhood {Guest Post}

Lisa Newton has been a great support to me, and to a lot of other sisters in the infertility struggle, I'm sure. Her blog and her friendship have been mainstays in my journey through infertility for years, and I'm honored to have her here today to share with us! I asked Lisa to tell me about what surprised her most about becoming a mother, and I'm sure you'll enjoy what she had to say.