Fear: how two simple questions change everything

My hands shook as I walked to the front of the chapel.

My throat is closing up, I overreacted inwardly. Just watch. I’ll burst into tears as soon as I start talking. My voice is going to shake and I’ll do that funny nervous twitch thing with my face. It’s going to be terrible.

Despite my inner freak out, I made it to the stage and turned to face the group of people in front of me.

Why did I have to be sick last week?

I missed my turn to share my devotion to the sixty-some college age camp counselors due to an early summer cold, or maybe it was allergies. In any case, now I’d be providing the devotion not only to the counselors, but to a group of theologians who had come on retreat.

They stuck out in this group- dressed business casual among a sea of Chacos and camp t-shirts. I glanced anxiously at the few rows of heads with graying hair in the middle of the man-buns, ponytails and French braids.

Public speaking was bad enough just in front of the counselors… but this? This was just impossible. I was unqualified and silly and had no formal theological training, and here I was. Front and center.

I heard my first shaky breath, picked up by the microphone. It was surprising that my pounding heartbeat wasn’t audible through the chapel speakers.

Blessings these Weeks: 08.19.2016 and 08.26.2016

It's so important, so vital to my mental and spiritual health, to find the blessings every day. In the mundane. In the boring, the routine.

That's where the miracle is.

But then, when you take a break from the routine and mundane- and you get to live a little exotic and unplanned- you're already practiced in finding the blessings, so you find even more of them. Vacations are even more refreshing, even more rich, when you've already learned to count the blessings.

...   ...   ...   ...   ...

Safe travels and beautiful views

Barn Swallows and Finding a New Place

I woke up one morning this summer, the sun streaming in, even though it was still early.

I took my time getting up; watching the trees swaying in the country breeze, considering that I should probably put a curtain on that window because we've lived here for six months, already and what kind of a grown up am I, anyway? and a curtain would mean I could sleep until my alarm and also, privacy but we don't have any neighbors, so who really cares.

And that's when I saw her. A pretty little barn swallow swooping past my window.



I didn't think much of it. Barn swallows are just one of the lovely gifts that come along with living on twenty-plus acres of quiet farmland.

(I think barn swallows kind of balance out the dusty vehicles from driving down miles of gravel every day.)

Like I said, I didn't think much of it, until I saw her fly past the window again. And again. And again.

Getting It Together: And Free Printable Planner Pages

I forgot a dentist appointment the other day.

Again.

If there's one thing I do consistently, it's forget that stupid dentist appointment. I don't forget the one in February, oh no. I only forget the August one.

And why?

Why, you ask?

Because it's in August. And August is summer time. And in the summer time, my planning binder rides along with me everywhere I go, but it doesn't really get... opened.

But now it's the middle of August, and now it's time to get myself back together again and start acting like a grown up woman again.

Ahem.

In Christ: our true identity and what that means for each of us

"Well. It's nice, it's just not really... you. "

I was showing my mom a Christmas present- the first Christmas present I'd ever received from a boy. My sixteen-year-old self was annoyed by the comment that the necklace wasn't really my style.

Not "me?" The gaudy rhinestone-studded letter A wasn't "me?" Not possible. My boyfriend had given it to me, so I liked it. I liked the necklace, really. Really, I did. Sort of.

The truth, although I couldn't admit it at the time, was that I didn't like that necklace. My mom was right-- it wasn't something I'd typically wear. But I wore that glittery thing all the time, until the relationship ended (as it was sure to do), and it went into a box and was later donated to a second-hand store.

That necklace was a good representation of the relationship, really. Something I didn't actually want, that didn't actually fit me, but I was going to try really hard to like it.

Blessings this Week: 08.12.2016 Edition

Just a warning- this is gonna be a quick one! 

A busy and wonderful auction weekend, and new quilts gracing the backs of my couches

Favorite Links This Summer

It's no secret that I like blogs.

I read 'em, I share 'em... and it was reading the blogs of other people that got me started writing my own. Because I like blogs.

Working in an office (in front of a computer) means that I have the unique opportunity to fill my coffee break and lunch break with reading blog posts, and this summer has been full of great ones.

And I wanna share them with you!