Come to the Table: Water for the Thirsty

I'm sitting at the bar that serves as my work desk, taking a moment to absent-mindedly trace the deep scars in the surface of the wood.

I'm replaying an imaginary conversation in which I respond to a customer's angry ranting online review. It's the same conversation I've been having in my mind and occasionally in my dreams for the past week.

My Trevor says I need to let it go.

I can't.

I just can't seem to release this feeling of indignation, of offense, that the best I could do was still not enough for this customer. Instead, the restless feeling of unresolved conflict winds its way around my thoughts and my heart and my stomach and makes it hard to find the waters of peace. It dries me out- I'm parched and rough, inflexible and brittle. Exposed.

It's a symptom. I know that this fire-in-my-veins restlessness comes from somewhere deeper, somewhere where my identity lies.

And I've spent long enough tracing the dry, old, worn out cattle paths in my mind to know where this trail comes from.

I have an unquenchable thirst for approval. 

Being liked, or needed, or valued by other people drives so many of my decisions, so many of my behaviors. I don't handle it well when they (whoever they are... it really doesn't matter) are unhappy with me.

Preparing the Way

I know preparation.

For four years, I served in the office at a Bible Camp- processing registration forms and preparing, always the preparing, for a new group to encounter the love of Christ.

I sent emails, gathered details, prepped rooms, made door signs and name tags, printed schedules, coordinated with leaders. When I wasn't actively serving one group, I was preparing for the next one. Always, always preparing.

Most of the time, I enjoyed working to make the best possible experience for our guests.

I'll be honest with you, though. Being the prep person is not glamorous. It's often thankless, unnoticed, and unappreciated. Serving well as one who makes the way for others requires the right attitude. I don't usually have very much of that right attitude. I get bitter, tired, worn out, grouchy and impatient. Serving and preparing requires humility.


As we think about preparation, I can't help but think of John the Baptist. After all, he was the voice in the desert, crying "Prepare the way of the Lord!" And like any great servant, John's preparation was marked with humility.


I'm honored to be guest posting today for Kris Camealy! This post was inspired by her new Advent devotional:  (affiliate link) Come Lord Jesus: The Weight of Waiting.

Read the rest of this post at Kris Camealy's blog-->

DISCLOSURE: In order for me to support my blogging habit, I may receive monetary compensation or other types of remuneration for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial and/or link to any products or services from this blog. You may see a full disclosure by clicking on my "About" page. I will only promote products that I use, enjoy, or take a shine to. All opinions and reviews are my own and are not influenced by any compensation I may receive.

How Should a Christian Vote? : part 4

I remember one of the first times I was made fun of in school.

I wasn't the most fashionable girl in the grade (not by a long shot!), and honestly, I didn't really even care that much. I loved school, and the learning always took precedence over what I was wearing. Most of the time I just didn't even pay attention.

But it was second grade, and apparently this was the age in which all the little girls learned what was cool and what was not. And I was certainly not. I wore one of my favorite outfits that day- complete with really stellar hand-me-down bib-overall shorts.

Which, I suppose, was the wrong thing to wear.

They were mean and teased me, and while I laughed along on the outside, I went home that day with two big lessons burned into my mind. Never wear those shorts again... and Being made fun of is pretty terrible. 

Grave Clothes and a New Year

I don't remember the exact day I began following Jesus.

I don't really have a great memory for dates, to begin with, but I know that I was young.

Following Jesus has been a very real part of my life almost as long as I can remember, but intertwined with that saving grace is a feeling of frustration.

As a young girl, I tried so hard to be "good." I tried to follow the Ten Commandments, worked to be kind to those who were unkind to me, magnified the little light in my heart to reach those around me... but so often, I felt like it didn't "work."

I messed it up. All the time.

My clumsy attempts to witness were met with raised eyebrows and a change of subject. I got upset with my sisters and lashed out in anger at my parents. The other kids in my Sunday School class always seemed to have it all together, while I screwed up constantly, royally, consistently. And I wondered, was I really a Christian? Because if Jesus really lived in my heart, then what was wrong with me? Why did I keep on sinning? 

White for Harvest

"Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest."- John 4:35*

(*Before moving to Iowa, I never really understood what "white fields" really meant. I'm pretty sure that Jesus wasn't alluding to corn... but it is true that even corn turns almost white when harvest time comes around. And Iowa... we have a lot of corn. )




I love Jesus's words here in John.

Look! 

Lift up your eyes! 
How often am I so focused on the things right in front of me- on the dishes to be washed, invoices to be sent, e-mails to be answered, laundry to be folded- that I forget to look? To lift up my eyes?

Because here, in this moment, in this season, in this place, the fields are white around me.

Hearts are ready. Ears are open.

But if I don't see them, if I don't look up and take the opportunity to have the conversation, to give the hug, to sit and listen, I will miss it.

The Greater Miracle

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." - John 14:12

Spring in rural Iowa is something to see.

All winter long, fields have sat bare, with scraggly bits of cornstalk poking out through the snow.

And then slowly, spring comes. Tractors take to the fields, and in no time, seeds are planted deep under that beautiful black soil in neat rows.

Then we wait.

The waiting time isn't very glamorous. There isn't much that the farmer can do, really, to get those seeds to pop up and show their green little heads. They wait for the miracle that only sun and water and time can bring about.

Blessed Holy Week!

Just wanted to let you know- with the exception of my "Blessings this Week" post, I'll be taking the week "off" in celebration of Easter!

Enjoy the preparations and celebration!

Focusing on my Path

Too often, the voice of "You're-Not-Good-Enough" speaks so loudly in my ear, sometimes so loudly that I have trouble being grateful, that I have trouble finding joy.

She has much better fashion sense than I do. 
Her marriage seems so effortless and loving all the time. 
She has wonderful children.
Her home is always so clean. 
 
Why doesn't my path look like that?

You know what Jesus says about those feelings, those thoughts?

In John 21, the resurrected Jesus has just revealed himself to Peter and the other disciples. He and Peter have a good heart-to-heart about the whole denying three times before the rooster crows thing.

Jesus goes on to tell Peter the plans that God has for him, the awesome and humbling task of being the founder of the Church, of "feeding his sheep" and "tending his lambs," even to the horrible and painful martyrdom that will end Peter's time on earth- all to the glory of God. 

And how does Peter respond?

"Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them...When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, 'Lord, what about this man?' (John 21:20-21, ESV, emphasis mine)

Oh, Peter. You are just like me.

Jesus has just given Peter a tremendous path in life, and Peter asks, "But what about him?" 

We don't know what was going on in Peter's head, but my hunch is that Peter's hearing those same voices, the ones that I hear, whispering...

His life seems... better. 

And isn't that what's at the core of all of our comparisons? Her life seems... better. Easier. Cleaner. More godly. More polished. Calmer. More exciting. More blessed. Better. 

How does Jesus reply to my (well, Peter's) question?

"Jesus said to him, 'If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!'" (John 21:22, ESV, emphasis mine).

"What's it to you? Worry about your own path! Focus on Me!"

What does it matter if they have a great new house?

So what if she's lost fifty pounds and looks great?

Who cares if my neighbor does the cutest projects with her kids?

What does it matter to me if that woman in church can totally pull off the dress that would make me look like a frump?


(All those things aren't necessarily bad- good for them! But...) Other people's paths are not what I should be focusing on.


We know what our focus should be- Following Jesus. Plain and simple. Instead of worrying about how my life compares to the lives of those around me, I need to follow Jesus. The path he's given me may look a lot different than the path he's given other people, and that's okay. 

When I put my focus where it's supposed to be- on Christ alone- there is no more comparison problem. I just gotta worry about myself- Following Jesus, seeking God's will, no matter where that path may lead.