"We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in us." - Romans 6:7-10I like to be in control.
I think my sisters have called me "bossy" more often than I'd like to admit- of course, looking back on my childhood, "bossy" seems more than kind given some of the things I forced upon them!
And unfortunately, I didn't really grow out of it... I'm just bossy in more socially acceptable ways (let's hope).
It steals my peace and pulls me further from Him. I struggle against trusting God, shouting "No! I can do it!" like a two-year-old trying to put on her own shoes. And, like that two-year-old, I eventually learn that giving up and letting my heavenly Father take care of me is what I should have done all along.
Well, I learn it until next time, anyway.
I'm breakable and fragile and yet I hold this amazing gift- the life and salvation of Jesus. I can't understand why Jesus would want to make a home in me. I'm limited and weak. My body doesn't always do what I would like it to do. My mind doesn't hold on to things for very long. I can only handle so much.
But glory, glory- He's with me always! Patiently waiting for me to get frustrated, broken down, and disappointed because doing it my way doesn't work. And when I'm ready to finally surrender to Him, to trust Him to know what's best for me, He's there to shape me and guide me.
I find such peace when I stop fighting, and simply enjoy the safety and love in the Potter's hands.