The First Pictures

Dear Baby,

Going through the thousands of pictures of you is a momentous task. Thousands of pictures, each one with a tiny nuance or slightly different facial expression and how can I possibly choose which to keep and which to delete into digital nothingness?

I'm getting there, slowly, but there's a folder of pictures I just don't like to open. Not yet. It's the folder of the first photos of you.

I avoid looking at them, even now, because it's just too hard, yet.

September and October.

Great Stuff to Give Parents in the NICU

When we announced the birth of our little boy- who arrived eight weeks early- and the fact that we'd be in the NICU for at least several weeks, our people were incredibly supportive. Friends and family immediately asked what they could do, what we needed, what they could bring.

And honestly, we had no idea.

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I mean, my little guy is in a great hospital, and they really provide just about everything. I decided that I'd stay with our baby as much as possible, which was easy to do in our NICU. The rooms had couches that folded into a bed, there were showers and laundry facilities available for families, we got meal vouchers that allowed us to eat in the cafeteria... and of course, everything our baby could possibly need was provided as well.

But even though we had no idea what would be helpful, we did have several friends (and one very sweet former NICU mom who I actually didn't know at all) who gave us things that were amazing and made the journey so much easier.

Dear NICU Mom...

I'm walking down the hall toward the elevators and the cafeteria when I see you.

You're wearing cheery pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt that doesn't match, inching your way down the hall in your slippers, a shell-shocked expression on your face.

You see me coming and step to the side to let me by, and I see you glace at my name tag and notice the word "parent," -- that one word that identifies me as the mama of a precious tiny one here in the hospital-- and your expression changes a little- a mix of camaraderie, disbelief, sadness, and hope.

I know exactly how you're feeling.

Just weeks ago, I was you.

I Hate Periodic Breathing, and Other Confessions of a Preemie Mom

So many of our friends and family have told us that we seem to be doing remarkably well, given the circumstances. And yes, we have managed to stay generally upbeat, keep our sense of humor, and cling to faith during our NICU stay with our teeny tiny premature son (born at 32 weeks).

But honestly?

This hasn't been easy.

I've been really working to stay positive, clinging to the blessings, praising God for each and every step in the right direction... but it's hard. And I think that acknowledging the difficulty will help me work through it and recognize the blessings more readily. And if you're a preemie parent, too, hopefully reading this will give you a little reassurance that you're not alone in how you're feeling.