I looked up from the screen warming my lap, out the window to cows grazing just beyond the thin wire fence, mountains stretching high behind them.
As the beauty filled my eyes, my lungs expanded in a deep, restful breath.
There's been a lot of talk of simplicity in many Christian circles. Of rest, paring down.
I was a big proponent of all that, myself. In fact, the idea of a more restful existence was one of the reasons we decided to move out here in the first place.
But this change of job and geographical location and pace has its own stress, its own hectic chaos. For one thing, we have internet at home now, and I just got upgraded to a smartphone. There are always (always!) ninety million things I could be doing, and it is proving very easy to lose myself down the rabbit hole called the world-wide-web.
So I don't know.
Somehow, I doubt that the escapism that is so widely acclaimed is actually the solution to a busy, overfull life. It doesn't seem to be working for me.
If anything, I feel more distracted, more scattered, and more disconnected, despite my intentions to go deeper and to focus on the important things.
Sometimes a huge life change isn't what's needed.
That's not to say that I think moving out here was a mistake- not at all. But I think that my expectation was flawed- the idea that moving away from "it all" and starting fresh would solve my busyness and stress. It just didn't happen.
There's an art to a life of sabbath, and that art doesn't require a drastic change.
Instead, I'm finding that no matter where I am or the job title that finds itself attached to me, rest in every day is not about my circumstances. It's about me.
I get to make the choice.
I can choose to start my day with the important things- spending time in the Word, self-care (ie, walking the happy dog), accomplishing a household task- and before the day really begins, my armor is on and my foundation is secure.
I can choose to turn off my (fancy new) phone and talk with my husband. I can choose to use my spare moment here and there to regroup, to rest, instead of checking Facebook or the weather or my e-mail.
Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind. - Ecclesiastes 4:6
There are handfuls of quiet (even if it's just a quiet of spirit) to be found in the middle of the day. We just have to take hold of them. Curl your fingers around the moment. Breathe in it. Stop striving after wind, and instead, know the power of your God to enter this minute, this breath.
Find your rest today by holding on to the handfuls of grace.
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